Wednesday, February 4, 2009

I want to cry! :'-(

I'm so depressed right now, I really feel like crying.

First, and worst of all, I haven't ovulated yet (I was supposed to ovulate on Mon.) and so I can't have Artificial Insemination done until that happens. I feel like I'm so close to getting pregnant, but my damn body won't cooperate.

Why haven't I ovulated? Hmmmmmm, I don't know. Maybe all the damn stress at work! I left second grade to get away from ISTEP pressures and now they've followed me to third grade. Since testing is now going to be done in the Spring instead of the Fall, I get all the pressure and responsibility for making sure my students pass the ISTEP.

My biggest peeve is that all research points toward Test Prep NOT being effective, but every year as we approach testing they require us to stop our regular instruction and do nothing but test prep! I HATE it more than anything else I can think of right now.

Oh -- and I'm cutting WAAAAY back on my sugar intake because I think that may be effecting why we're not getting pregnant too. So I'm suffering withdrawals. Anyone who's ever tried to quit any kind of addiction knows how I'm feeling right now.

So I have all this on my shoulders -- plus I had a long day today, straight from work I had a meeting, and immediately following that I had class at IUSB.

So I'm home, hungry (no dinner ready and waiting for me either -- I have to fend for myself), I'm tired, stressed, and very upset that I'm not ovulating. I try telling this all to my husband and after trying to listen and solve my problems he tells me that I fucked up the checkbook again and so we overdrew our account!!

Right now I feel like I just need to crawl under a rock and die. Seriously!

5 comments:

Charmi said...

Okay. I understand the depression thing. Maybe some sunshine would help. It really works for me.

Anonymous said...

Oh Gloria, I wish I was there to give you a hug.

Yes, the sugar thing is incredibly tough. Dan & I did it for 2 days and gave up before we ended up divorced! haha But, take comfort in the fact that it actually IS helping you. It's one of the first things I had to give up (our other sis,too) before getting on a regular cycle. However, the stress is what's most likely delaying your ovulation. and if you had to take hormones, well, that is only making you feel crazier.

As for the checkbook, we've all done it. It happens, don't be so hard on yourself.

Please call me if you need a shoulder to cry on. I'll try my hardest not to "solve" your problems. :) --z

GloJoMo said...

Thanks Zanna. I'm feeling a little better today, even though I STILL haven't ovulated.

Maybe I'm not using the stick correctly?????

Kurran said...

My heart is breaking for you and Jesus. I am praying for you.
I hear you about sugar - it is one of my horrid vises.
Checkbook - yep, EVERYONE has done that at one time or another.

Jennifer said...

I haven't been on your blog in a while so I'm trying to catch up. I'm really routin'(sp) for you and Jesus, even though I've only met you once:)! As for the sugar, yes, there is such thing as withdrawal. I did a detox once where we eliminated sugar, alcohol, wheat, dairy, meat and caffeine. Lots of people in the detox class got flu-like symptoms from going without sugar. It gets better, I promise. And about the checkbook, I just did it a month ago and was so mad at myself. Everybody does it!