Random Thoughts

This is the first year that I have not gleefully counted down the days to the end of the school year. I'm actually going to miss these guys.

I sent home a "Teacher's Report Card" the other day and got some great responses. Kids are so honest! I told them that they didn't need to put their names on them (so they wouldn't be afraid of giving me an F on something) but a lot of them chose to put their names on it anyway. I asked them to explain why they gave the grades they gave me on the back. I don't have them in front of me right now, but some of the responses were hilarious and some were really touching. I'll have to post them later.

I've found a travel agent that I think I can trust and will hopefully have everything ready to go here soon.

Anybody notice how dry the air has gotten again? As soon as it gets nippy out, my skin feels instantly dryer. I'm tired of cold. I want HEAT!!! (I guess the southwestern coast of India is the place for me then, isn't it?)

Also, I haven't been sleeping as deeply as I normally do and my jaw is so sore from clenching my jaw all night. (Again, good thing I'm going to India!) Hopefully all that meditating will help me relax enough to sleep soundly without clenching my jaw.

Change -- everything changes (that's inevitable)... but it often feels like these changes are out of our control. Doesn't is seem that it is harder when we attempt to change our own behaviors as opposed to just adjusting to change that has been forced on us. What's up with that?

Fear -- notice how much it controls us? We wear our seat belts out of fear of being throw from our cars or getting a ticket... we are nice to assholes out of fear of being fired or slapped... we maintain unhealthy relationships for a whole bunch of fears (too many to name). The media and the government like to use it too, but the truth is we all like to use it. Why? Because it is extremely effective. "If you make ugly faces your face will get stuck like that." "If you don't want to be short like me, you'll eat all your vegetables." Remember hearing those kinds of threats as a kid.

Then there are fears that we create for ourselves. Like spiders and needles. I'm terrified of them both. Or my ultimate fear -- an unfaithful spouse. But where do these come from? I have no good reason to fear any of these things and yet even the thought of these things can shake me to my core.

Pets -- Are we really doing them a favor by keeping them? We have two dogs and some fish and sometimes I just want to let them go. I hate seeing the fish swim back and forth in the small tank with no where to go or watching my dogs, so desperate for a chance to catch the darn squirrel on the other side of the fence. I mean, we are doing to them what we have done for ourselves -- creating a safer more secure environment but living a pretty boring life in the process.

Man, who invited Debbie Downer to my blog? :)