Not Ashamed

If you've hung around me for very long, then you know I talk about my depression, anxiety, and infertility. I'll talk to you about the anti-depressants I'm on and even my menstrual cycle. Every-once-in-a-while I'll get a look that says, "Whoa! Too much info," which is probably true. I don't have a well functioning floodgate. But the truth is, I know that there are MANY women (especially teachers) who are on anti-depressants and are afraid to talk about it. So, I just put it out there. My hope is that I'll help take the stigma away from mental illnesses by talking about it.

After I got back from India I was convinced that if I could just eat right, do my yoga and meditation everyday then I could cut back on my meds and maybe even one day stop it altogether. But, I'm just not able to handle it all. I'm feeling the weight of all of my responsibilities keeping me from being able to raise my spirits on my own. So even though I'm a little disappointed that I wasn't able to ween myself off these meds successfully this time, I realize several things:

1. I don't want to go back to where I was before I started taking meds.
2. Jesus doesn't deserve to go through THAT roller coaster again.
3. I gave it a good try. I can always try again next summer.
4. I'm not giving up, I'm just getting a little help to get me through the tough times.

So tomorrow when I go to see my psychiatrist, I'll ask him to please bump up the dosage again.