Sudoku Master

I've never really known who I am or what it is I enjoy doing. I'm the kind of person who will do whatever you want to do and agree with most of what you say, just to keep things comfortable.

Once I realized I turned out to be one of "those women" (my childhood self would kick my ass for turning out like this), I decided it was time to figure out what I enjoy doing. You know, get some hobbies. So, I took up sudoku. (I never could get into crossword puzzles.)

Another disappointing discovery, I have no real talent at anything. I have to work at being average. So, when I took up this new hobby, I wanted to be good at it.

What's worse? I married a guy who happens to be good at just about everything. I'm not saying he's perfect! I realized that a long time ago. But, there is no denying he has natural intelligence that makes learning new things come easy.

What's worse than that? I am a competitive person with an inferiority complex!!!

Which leads us to today. I have been practicing sudoku in a book I picked up at Wal-mart. I think I've been getting better, faster, figuring out the patterns of logic, and getting better at overlooking the "obvious". So, when I came across the sudoku puzzle in the Newspaper today, I thought I would challenge myself. I would use a PEN and time myself.

It was a disaster. I failed. So, I tried again, this time with a different color pen. It was difficult with all the scratched out numbers, but I wasn't going to be discouraged so easily.

Another failed attempt. I felt awful. Thoughts like, "You suck! You'll never get good at anything! Don't kid yourself. Just give it up," went through my head. I felt so awful. And having my "everything comes easier to me" husband right there, made it that much more humiliating.

So, after stuffing my face full of cookies and coffee, I thought it all over. Moral of the story, I overthink everything, and really need to get over myself. Seriously, if not being fast and successful at Sudoku is enough to get me that I upset, I need to get a life.