Post 17

July 20--

I've been working on my Power Point Presentation for my grant. I have to present and turn in something summing up my trip in Sept. But, I start back to work almost immediately (as team leader this time) and start my masters soon after that, so I know that I won't have a lot time to play around with it. I'm having a lot fun with it. It is amazing all the things you can do with it. I've never really used Power Point before. The program I'm using is actually called Keynotes (it is Mac software) but it is pretty much the same thing as PP.

Prasana took me into town to help me buy a sari yesterday. I should say I followed her into town. She was afraid that the ashram people would see that she was taking me into town to buy something and they might not like that she was taking business away from the ashram. Anyway, once I have the top made she is going to show me how to put the whole thing on. It looks like a very complicated process. Despite that, the way they wear them here, makes it look very comfortable. I bought some silk fabrics earlier (when I went crazy at the one shop in Kollam) but I didn't really buy them for me. Besides, if I'm actually going to wear something I don't want it to be too nice because I get things dirty so fast! I would beat myself up if I got a brand new silk sari stained or dirty. So this sari is a cotton blend. It is a light purple with a golden border. Very simple, but very pretty. I figure I'll wear it when I'm giving my presentation for the grant, for sure. But I'll probably wear it to work sometimes just for fun!

Well, someone took the dogs away. (At least, someone took the dogs they didn't LIKE away.) I feel better that at least I was able to give the dog some medicine. Who knows what they did with them. Even if they kill them, at least I made his last few weeks more comfortable. I realize that I can't control what others do. I can only be concerned with my own actions. So, I don't feel like any of my efforts were in vain. What pisses me off though is that I found out yesterday that the Indian kitchen people keep a dog here! According to the "dog couple" (as I have come to call them) this dog that they keep is supposed to be like a watch dog, but it is too dumb to do a good job. I guess my problem with the whole thing is the double standard. Not to mention that the Ella-like-dog is still here. She will sleep on the temple steps and no one bothers her. In fact, some of the Indian people will actually feed her and pet her. Which is great for this dog. But, it just makes all the "reasons" that swami guy gave me a bunch of bullshit! It was easier to swallow when I thought that HE at least believed what he was saying. I guess it all just goes to show that it doesn't matter where you go or how "holy" someone tries to be -- we're all out for our own interests. I'm including myself in that statement -- but at least I don't go around in orange robes pretending to be this saintly person. He alluded to the fact that humans were worth more effort/money/time because they had the potential to become God-realized. But at least dogs don't lie! I don't know -- the more I think about it, animals are more God-realized than humans. Ugh! I just really hate being lied to. Why can't people just be up front and honest? "I don't like this dog because it is mangy and stinky and has diseases and I'm going to do whatever I can to get rid of it," would have been a much more accurate response to my questions.

"Why can't people just be up front and honest?" Hmmmm, good question. Like why can't I tell that kitchen lady, "I don't want to work with a bunch of over-emotional women and get all caught up in their drama. This trip is about taking care of me and working this job would hamper that goal"? I told her that I wasn't ready to do seva -- which was a lie. Actually I don't mind helping out at jobs that are flexible. For example, sweeping (which I'll be doing today at 4pm). If I start feeling poorly, I can just stop. But if there is a long of line of hungry customers waiting to have their orders taken, it's not so easy. So, why didn't I just tell her the truth? Actually I would totally prefer to tell her the truth. She'd leave me alone for good. But I've learned that people like to be lied to.

“Moreover, what we do every day is our real religion, for it shows what we truly value in life.”

~Dr. David Frawley

Author of Ayurvedic Healing