Well, for the first time since coming back from India I'm feeling grouchy and the amazing part is that I had a great first day of school. It wasn't any frustration with the students. Maybe it is just adjusting to the stresses of working a full day again. I don't know.
I know what jerked me out of my happy mood. I was walking the dogs and some neighbors down the street let their dogs run out the door and charge the fence (which comes right up to the sidewalk) just as we were approaching. I thought I had control of the dogs (and was just starting to think -"I've got this") when Ella pulled out in front of me and charged the fence. I was mad at the neighbor guy for letting his dogs out even though he saw us coming, but more than anything I was really mad at myself for not being able to handle it.
I tend to beat myself up when I can't do something that Jesus* can do. But I have to remind myself that I'm not nearly as big and strong as he is and that just Marley by himself weighs almost as much as I do. So, I have to resign myself to the fact that I will never be able to comfortably walk both dogs at the same time by myself.
Also, it doesn't help that I planned on taking them by myself because Jesus* told me how tired he was, but he assured me that he would go too. So I waited, and he fell asleep and decided he wouldn't go after all!
Jesus* and I are trying to adjust to living together again. We both enjoyed doing things on our own time this summer. We'd like to keep doing things on our own time, but we'd also like to see each other for more than a hour or two a day. I've been getting up at 4:30 in the morning and going to bed around 9:30. He averages a midnight bedtime and wakes up around 7:00. Between dinner, dishes, dogs, e-mail, and taking care of me -- there isn't much time left. I really don't know how people do it with kids. What is the point of being married if you never get to spend time with the person?
Where is that peace I had earlier today? I think I need to meditate again.
Mi Amor
My love and appreciation for this man is beyond words.
About me...
- GloJoMo
- is a 3rd grade teacher who is happily married and has two dogs as stand-in children.
3 comments:
Before Joe and I had our daughter it was much easier to our "own" things...but to be honest, it was perhaps dangerously easier. Hadley pulled us together. When I start school next week and Hadley is shuffled here and there it will be harder to do it all, but weekends are all about family--she's like glue.
Good luck with your school year.
Cesar says any size person should be able to walk any size dog. In other words, Ella & Marley aren't behaving properly on the leash. If they were, you wouldn't have trouble walking them. but that's on TV. :)
To answer your question, people with kids usually don't go to bed at such vastly different times. They collapse from fatigue almost at the same time. :)
The "harder than you think" is the withdrawals from the anti-anxiety meds. I found that the emotional part was a cinch compared to the physical part (dizziness, fatigue, etc). -zanna
Thanks for feeding me back my own words Zanna! You're so good at that and even though I hate it, it is soooo good for me.
Yeah, I was just really pissed off at myself I think, but wasn't ready to admit it yet. I'm really good at making excuses or blaming others when my ego is bruised.
Love you.
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