Donation Details

First of all -- thank you, thank you, thank you, for all of you are participating in this. It really really means a lot to me.

Jesus just wrote to say that we will match every dollar that is donated, until we get to our total $500.

He also said that you can send him a check (made out to Jesus Moya), he will deposit the money and then I can withdraw it here.

If you have a picture of yourself that you can send along, that would be great, so I can show them who all helped out. Also, I heard for someone that they like to know who is giving the gift, so they know who to thank. Some believe it is bad karma to take a gift from someone you don't know. You can either send the picture snail-mail or e-mail attachment.

You can send checks to:

1406 E. Sorin
South Bend, IN 46617


Thanks again everyone!!

Post 10

June 26 -- Well, I figure I’m stuck in my room, I might as well type of a blog entry. I can’t leave my room until maybe 4:00 pm this afternoon for my next Ayurvedic treatment. This morning after the shirovasti (sp?) a.k.a. head-needed-to-be-shaved-to-do-this-treatment, they gave me some really thick substance to drink that makes me go to the bathroom all day long. It cleans out the digestive tract. Which is a good thing, just not a good thing to go through. I have to drink warm water every thirty minutes, but I’m going to the bathroom every 15. For a while, I just stayed on the toilet... there was no point in getting off. Apparently they want me to go through this again before my treatment is over. Maybe I’ll just starve myself, so the next time it won’t be so miserable.

Next to the discomfort and sensitivity to rough, cheap toilet paper the worst part is trying not to sleep. They don’t want me napping, especially today. And, I think most of you know how much I like to sleep. So, I try pacing the floor, but that makes the discomfort and sensitivity worse. I’ve been reading a cheap-read book called The Host by Stephenie Meyer. She writes a series of vampire/werewolf love stories, I think. I tried to read them, but couldn’t get into to it. This one is different and it caught my attention right away. Nico gave it to me before she left. I didn’t think I’d actually read it, but it is turning out to be a nice distraction for now.

One of the “nuns” came and brought me my lunch right now. I have to eat only what they give me today. It is good for the digestive system. Rice and rice water and then a small side of vegetables. She said I could eat it in about an hour. Truth is, I’m not too hungry. I didn’t get to eat breakfast either. But, I think that stuff I had to drink -- ugh -- just thinking of it makes me want to puke-- I think it is so thick and moving so slowly, that I’m not feeling the hunger.

I was talking to one of the “nuns” this morning as she was doing my oil-on-the-shaved-head treatment. She said that they are called Barachinias (or something like that, I can’t remember exactly) -- not nun, but I’m going to use nun. She said they can join the ashram permanently at around 18 but most of them are older. She said it is totally their choice if they join and they can leave when they like, but they don’t want to leave. They keep the men and women very separate here. And not just in this ashram, the culture here keeps them very separate. I think this is why the men/boys here are so affectionate with each other. It is VERY normal for them to hold hands, hug, lay on each others’ laps, etc. I think they are lacking females to touch / flirt with so they use each other.

I love these “nuns”. They are soooooooo sweet and kind-hearted. They are the ones who do most of the treatments and they are totally focused on you for the entire thing. The one I spoke with this morning (I’m horrible with names -- especially ones that are not familiar to me) she is especially sweet. All I have to do is lift my hand to my head and she’s checking to see if I’m uncomfortable. I leaned down to pick up a stool the other day, to get on the massage table and she rushed over and got it for me. In the mornings, I usually stretch my neck out because all that oil on my head makes my neck strain. (Imagine a leather rectangle that is wrapped around the top of your head and sealed -- then they pour oil in that and it makes like a pool on your head.) She noticed my pain, so she started massaging my neck for me. The doctor, gives me hugs every time she sees me, like she is my mom. How can you not feel cared for? They don’t baby you in anyway -- they make you do the yucky stuff even if you don’t want to and they won’t sympathize and make sad faces when you complain. But, they will do whatever they can to make it more comfortable for you.

I haven’t been doing much seva since I started this ayurvedic treatment and the western kitchen ladies are not happy about this. I usually help chop the vegetables that will go into the meals. These ladies take their jobs a little too seriously I think. But theirs is a big responsibility. If the food isn’t ready, there will be a lot of hungry and angry people waiting on them. I’m a little frustrated, because technically, I don’t have to do any seva since I’m doing Panchakarma. It is highly recommended that you rest as much as possible. But, chopping vegetables isn’t too difficult and if I get tired I stop. Yesterday, I did stop and their heads shot up -- “Are you coming back?” I didn’t like the way they asked it. So, I think I might not help out there anymore. Maybe right before I leave (so they don’t poison my food) I’ll let them know that their attitudes really turn people off from helping out in the kitchen.

I absolutely love going to the beach. I don’t get to go often, but when I do -- it is gorgeous. I realized that for me -- nature is my religion. I feel that “there’s something more to this life” feeling only when I am witnessing powerful natural forces. I should have guessed this a long time ago (and maybe I did, but forgot it somehow). When I was a little girl, I used to beg to go out and play in the rain. When the rain turned dangerous, like tropical storms or hurricanes, I would sit in the garage, on the bumper of my parents’ car and just watch in complete awe. My mom never liked this. She wanted me inside where I’d be safe. I felt that I could never get close enough. I remember that I also used to be fascinated with the vastness of the sky. I could stare at it forever and never get sick of it. I wasn’t watching clouds so much as I was just in complete awe of the beauty and size of it all. It made me and all my problems feel so small. I miss that. In South Bend, it’s like someone has pulled a dark gray shade down over my beautiful view. That oppressive gray sky is enough to make you feel trapped.

Hmmm, I think it is time to move away from the midwest!

Okay, I’m really miserable now. I seriously cannot wipe anymore -- it hurts too much, but I also can’t stop going to the bathroom! I think I’ll bring everything into the bathroom and just camp out there. Then when I think I’m finally done, I’ll just take a cool shower. So, that’s bye for now. I’ll post this when I can leave my room again. :P

************

A few hours later and MISERABLE is the only word I can think of to describe how I’m feeling. I fought the need to throw-up for almost 8 hours, but I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I threw up that nasty thick, saw-dust-like substance and it just made me want to throw up even more. It would get stuck in my throat and make me gag. YUCK!!!!! :P

Everyone has warned me about how difficult Panchakarma can be, but I was getting massages at the time, so I didn’t listen too closely. Plus, I didn’t want to be scared away from doing it. They say it is really emotional too. I did start crying for no apparent reason the other day during one of the massages. And then today, after throwing up what little food I did get to eat, feeling weak and miserable, I bumped my head on an iron staircase (I still had the throw-up taste in my mouth and I was trying to spit in an inconspicuous place) and I couldn’t help it... I cried. I felt so stupid. I couldn’t go back to my room and feel stupid though. Marta and Allison are leaving the ashram today and I was trying to say goodbye when this all happened. They were so sweet about it though. So sympathetic to my sensitive emotions.

Then I had to go get the Nasiam (sp?) treatment where they put drops of some medicated oil in your nostrils while your head is hanging upside down. Then you have breath in really HARD and start spitting. More YUCK! :P So, I was really really really not having a good day. Oh, and did I mention (boys close your eyes) I’m on my period? Yeah, yeah, I know. How much worse could it get? I’m hoping not much.

Good news is tomorrow I only have the oil-on-the-bald-head treatment and an oil bath. Ahhhh, just the thought makes me happy. This Panchakarma treatment is not for the weak. I used to think I was weak. Now, I’m feeling a lot stronger. Plus, I really think it is doing some good. I can totally see why westerners prefer pills to this. The pills cover up the symptoms. Curing the problem is hard work.

I’m starving right now. I can’t eat for another 3 hours. They want me to only eat from the Indian cafe tonight. Otherwise I’d drag my hungry self over the bridge and eat something right now. If I can’t eat and I feel miserable, then next thing I’d like to do is sleep, but again, that’s a no-no. They won’t let me escape this discomfort!! But this is a good thing, right? This is what I’m here for.

So, I was thinking... which I have plenty of time to do lately. I still feel uncomfortable with the whole worshipping a person like a God thing. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel comfortable with that. But what I do like about gurus is that they have to prove themselves worthy through their daily actions. In the western religions, I think all you really have to do is get a degree in theology. (I’m sure there is more, but this part I know for sure). Here in the east, it seems like no one is going to come listen to what you have to say until you have proven consistently over many years that you are a good, wise person. Now, after that they can turn as crooked as they want (and I understand some of them do), but at least there is more of a screening process. For example, I don’t how long a guru would be able to get away with molesting little kids before he/she was dismissed as a fraud and never heard of again. I don’t think they’d put up with for a second. Now I don’t know any of this as fact -- this is just the impression I get.

More thoughts to come later... I just don’t know when. Love you all and miss you!

Good Cause

There is a beautiful family here just outside the ashram where we all like to go have a cup of chai. There is a beautiful wife, hard-working husband, and two boys. Actually, they're men now. One is 21 and the other 18. They are extremely sweet and just good people. You can see it in their eyes and smile. The 18 year old, Shanker, and I were talking and he told me that he cannot go to college because they are spending all their money on the oldest to go. He said this is normal here. I asked him if he could go, would he? Where would he choose to go? What would he study? How much would it cost?

He said he would go to ALFA (http://www.alfainstitute.com/index.htm) and study welding. He said the total cost would be 20,000 rupees ($500).

I then asked if someone could give him the money, would he go, and would his parents allow it, would his parents be offended?

He said yes he would go and no his parents wouldn't be offended. I double checked this with the parents.

So, I wrote to Jesus asking if he'd be willing to help this family out. He says we can help, but right at this moment he doesn't feel comfortable giving the whole $500. (He's doing a bunch of home improvement projects that we've put off for years and doesn't want to run out of money.) So, I thought that MAYBE some of you might want to pitch in whatever you can to help this family out. I can post pictures and maybe even video, if it makes it seem more personal. They have invited me for dinner tonight, so I can take some then.

Please, I don't want anyone to feel pressure or guilty if you don't want/can't help out. I just thought I'd ask. A lot of times we want to help, but we just don't know who or where. I thought this was a good cause. This small thing could change this guy's life forever. A little bit of money goes a long way here in India.

There is something you should know first though. Since this is such a small amount, I don't think it is worth hiring a lawyer to draw up papers that they sign stating that they will use this money for college ONLY. So, if you give this money, then you would have to give it as a gift and understand that it is possible that they may not use it the way we intend. I seriously doubt this family would do something like that. They are not greedy, but they are human, and they come from a very different culture than we do. In there culture, it may be OK to take money for one thing and use it for another. I don't know. So, if you give money, it would have to be with this in mind.

If it sounds like people are interested in this, then I can discuss the best way to handle the money with Jesus and let you all know what to do. Please don't give money if you feel uncomfortable with the idea. This all requires a lot of trust on your part... trust in Jesus and I and trust in the people to use your money as we say we will. I understand if this not something you'd want to do.

If it is... then please let me know what you'd like to give.

Thanks to everybody in advance. Love you all.

I'm Bald!

Couldn't help. I had to post the pics. Thanks again for EVERYONE'S support in my decision. But since I'm here, I'll just give you a super quick update.

Nicole is gone -- so is Anand. I'm doing three different Panchakarma treatments right now, massage, sinus cleaning, and the "warm water or oil on my bald head" treatment. I'm not too sure what it is, but I'm exhausted and sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sleepy. More than usual. Which is a lot!!!

I LOVE going to the beach (even though I'm not supposed to). Other than that -- not much.

Love to all.

No more posting for a while :(

Sorry! In case you didn't already read in my comments below, I've decided to stop blogging so much. I don't know when I'll post again. I think about nothing else but what I'm going to write in my blog and what pictures I can post. I need to focus a little more on why I'm here.

Love you all. Sorry to disappoint.

Post 9

June 19th -- Another great day. I woke up at 4:00 this morning and made it to Archana. Then at 6:00 I went for my first ayurvedic treatment which is just a simple massage with some interesting smelling oils. The difference it that have you get completely naked and they do not cover you with anything. This is very difficult to get used to. But, this doctor (who actually did the massage herself -- I don’t think this is usual) has such a motherly way about her that you feel ok with it. After the massage (1 hour) she took me to the shower and washed my back for me. Then after I came out she had some tea for me to drink and she dried my hair for me. I felt like a little girl again, like my mom was taking care of me. It was very nice. Then, I went and meditated for a while.

At 8:00 it was time to help with the cows. Everything went very smooth today until the guy who I call “Shawn” (because that is the only sounds I can make out of his name) thought I could handle the cow that hates people. She got me in the stomach with her horns. It scared me more than it hurt. But now, I have a bruise or tender spot there. I’m going to tell him that I don’t want to be near that cow anymore!

Next it was time for breakfast. They had these beautiful cinnamon scones and I had some coffee with warm milk and jaggery. Yum. Pizza was up and at it early today. She was terrorizing some young female (Indian) student doctors who were eating at the western cafe today. I was lucky though, she was gone by the time I was ready to eat my scone. I have seen her/him with another eagle circling the skies in the morning hours from the balcony view in front of the elevators on my floor. Today I was lucky enough to see them from my bedroom window. Beautiful.

I chopped vegetables again today for part of my seva. This took forever and was not fun because half of the vegetables were rotten, but Amma believes in wasting as little as possible, so you have to cut out all the rotten stuff and chop up what is left. This is not fun!

Later I took Deklan into town because he has been craving chicken ever since he heard that I had some. I was able to trade my already-opened medicine bottle for more services from the guys wife. I told him today would not be good, because I had Deklan, but some other day. He agreed.

I also picked up some pants I ordered to be made for me by the tailor. The only problem is they are like 2 sizes too big. I have to go back tomorrow and ask them to fix them.

Technically I am no supposed to go to town during my ayurvedic treatment. But I need to finish my business there and then I will stop. In the meantime, I’ll take it as easy as possible. Good news is, so far I’m doing the easy part. It gets tougher later on. I go back tomorrow at 6:00am for another massage!

Love to all.

Post 8

June 18th -- Well, I overslept today. It was just too hard to pull myself out of bed at 4:00am, so I didn’t. But, I didn’t think it would take me 4 more hours to finally wake up! So, I missed helping with the cows and the fresh cow’s milk coffee. I missed Archana and the free tea. I did sit in for the second Archana of the day to make up for the missed one in the morning. I bought a book that translates what is being said. A lot of it is really repetitious and contradictory. I don’t get it. However, I do understand the idea behind chanting. I used to hate it in church when they would do that whole chanting type of call and response thing, but after doing some reading on curanderas (women healers and medicine women) and other speaking with others, I understand now that is it about the vibrations created through this process -- not necessarily the words or who the words are a bout. So, I tried to keep up today. Not easy.

Later, I was assigned to help Deklan (this is the correct spelling of his name -- I asked) find his way around for about 2 hours. While he was doing his mantra, I was reading about Amma and all the wonderful things she and her devotees have been able to do. It is really beautiful. But, what I really liked was when I read a quote from here saying, “The essence of motherhood is not restricted to women who have given birth; it is inherent in both men and women. It is an attitude of the mind. It is love, and love is the very breath of life.” Now, I know that many people have said many things similar to this, but it always helps to hear it again -- especially when you know the person has no idea what your personal situation is. It seems more authentic. I keep reminding myself of something I heard Amma say (through satellite viewing and translation) which was basically, “You can do everything right, but you still may not get the outcome you want.” So, I have to remind myself, that even if I do all this ayurvedic treatment and cleanse my body and do Artificial Insemination -- I may not get pregnant. I have to learn to be okay with that.

Anand, the Indian guy, attempted to read my palm today. I think a lot of Indians dabble in this. He says, that I will have only one true love/marriage. And that I will have one BIG baby. He says he has never seen a baby line that big before. (He had not seen pictures of Jesus prior to this -- but when I showed him Jesus’ head, he understood). I thought this was interesting. According to what he says, if you are right handed then your left hand shows what you were destined to do/have and the right show what your actions have now created for you. If you are left-handed it is the other way around. I thought was interesting. Still, I don’t know if there is anything to this. It is just a lot of fun. Also, I ended up hanging out with Deklan, Nico, and Marta again tonight and we got on to the topic of how Deklan “sees” people. He says he sees like a light and senses people’s energy. He said that I have a childlike spirit and that I am playful, but that he also senses a deep sadness that comes and goes. I thought that was pretty spot on. The truth is, I am only playful and childlike around children. Good thing I work with them all day. Marta, Nico, Deklan, and I hung out at the tea place right outside the ashram for a while and he played his drums and sang for us a little. Then we each tried to play the drums. It was hilarious and so much fun. I got some pic/video. I’ll see if I can’t post it.

I met with the ayurvedic doctor today and I go tomorrow morning at 6:00am for my first treatment. I think we are starting off with the massage. She didn’t say anything about needing to shave my head yet. So, I’ll let you know when the time comes. She says that she will give the correct medicine and to take that bottle back to the guy and ask for my money back. So, I will.

Well, it is late and I have to get up early. So, this is all for now. Love to all.

Post 7

June 17 -- Another Great Day! I woke up early today to go to the Archana. I was able to get my Ayurvedic meds down too! WooooHoooo! (One of them that I hadn’t tried yet actually tastes like a vinegary kind of alcohol. It’s pretty tasty.) I got free tea at 6:00am (this is offered everyday), called home to wish Dad a belated Happy Father’s Day. He actually said he was a proud father. That was amazing. All I’ve ever wanted to hear from my dad is that he is proud of me. Then I talked to my mom and sister (Melissa) for a little while. Everyone is supporting me in my head-shaving adventure. Except my mom was wise enough not to share this information with my dad.

Later around 8:00am I went to help out with the cows. The guy who is in charge of them is very well educated (mechanical engineer), I’m not sure why he stopped and is now taking care of cows, but I imagine it has to do with something spiritual. He learned a little about palm reading from his father and then learned some on his own, so while the cows were finishing their breakfast, he read my palms. It was interesting. Of course, I felt like most of it he could have guessed just by talking with me, but some of it was surprisingly true and I didn’t feel like it was something he could have guessed at. However, it is probably true for a lot of people and he just got lucky. He was way off with one thing. He said I was good in business. Apparently if your pinky finger curves in toward your ring finger then you are supposed to be good with business. He was very correct in saying that I make impulsive decisions, that I am stubborn, that I will agree with just about anything someone says, even if one day what I agree with contradicts what I agree with the next day, and that I judge people a lot and very harshly and that I do the same with myself. As we were talking and right before he started to read my palm, he made some coffee with fresh cows milk and sugar. He offered me some. It was delicious!! Even if they won’t let me help out with the cows once I start my Ayurvedic treatment, I will still visit everyday if it means I get offered some of that coffee! I’m supposed to take some of my meds with warm milk anyway. :) He also dabbles in reading astrology charts. He says it is a hobby of his. So, just for the fun of it, I’m going to give him my info. He says he has some software that he uses and if I bring him my memory stick, he’ll load the info on there for me. Super nice guy. I asked him if he charged and he said no, it is something he likes to do for friends. The cows were interesting. Some didn’t want to go out “to pasture” (which really means being tied to a coconut tree in a field) and others wanted to almost run there. One cow, who really did not like being pulled by a string through her nose, stepped on my pinky toe (and yes Jesus I was wearing flip flops, but everyone here does -- so flip-flop my flip-flop). I have pretty tough feet and so it didn’t hurt that bad, but I was afraid she might break it. It was red for a while, but now it is fine. The calves are adorable! They like to run and jump on their way out to the coconut trees. They also do not like being taken away from their mothers’ milk! I don’t blame them. It is good!

After that I got a quick breakfast (I was late because we got a late start with the cows) of Raggi Pancakes. It is some sort of non-wheat baking substance that tastes pretty good with butter and Jaggery (a purer form of sugar). Then I went to the temple to meditate and almost fell asleep. I chilled in my room for a little bit and then decided I had some errands to run across the bridge in the little town. So, I went all by myself.

First I stopped and ordered some pants to be made for me from the tailor shop. Then I stopped at the ayurvedic shop to see if they had the one medicine that the ashram ayurvedic shop did not have. Turns out they didn’t, but he wasn’t going to say that... so he sent a kid to go get some (from probably another ayurvedic shop) and asked if I’d like a facial while I waited. His wife owns a beauty shop two doors down from his shop. It was only 200 rupees (about $5), so I said, Sure. Why not? My skin is looking horrible anyway. So she proceeded to apply and wipe away different concoctions and then she took the pimple tool and started attacking my face with it. (Rosanna, remember that tool you introduced me too, it was almost the same thing. The only thing is, I could never inflict this kind of pain on myself.) I felt my whole body get hot from the pain. It was nearly unbearable at times, but she got all that icky white build up crap out! It was amazing. Then she asked (for no extra charge) if I wanted my eyebrows threaded. I have never done threading before and my eyebrows desperately needed attention and it was no charge, so again I said, why not? This was a whole other kind of pain and only slightly more bearable. My eyebrows look GREAT too. They have never looked so nice. She went a little too far on the left brow, but I don’ think it is too obvious right now. After that, I got my medicine (I’ll talk more about this later).

Now, I had worked up an appetite, and so I went to eat at the restaurant between the beauty shop and the ayurvedic shop. I ordered fried chicken and vegetable fried rice. OH MY GOD was it delicious. First of all, this is the first chicken I’ve had in about one week. (Jesus would have been proud of all the meat I ate off it.) Second, the rice was amazing!! There was a curry like sauce to pour over it and it had carrots, onions, cashews, raisins, cloves, cinnamon, and much more, but you get the idea. There were two other side dishes (a salad -- which isn’t really a salad and some other thing I had no idea about but ate it anyway -- kind of like a light and puffy tostada). I wasn’t able to finish it all, so I took the leftovers home and ate them for dinner YUMMY!!!!! The best part is that, with tip included, it was only $2 (80 rps).

Then I stopped by the ATM, got out some cash, and headed back to my room. It was scorching and I was sweating like you wouldn’t believe. I have never, ever, ever sweat so much in my life as I have on this trip.

In the afternoon, I met up with my friends and chatted for a while. Then I took a desperately needed shower. Later I went to the internet cafe. Then, I met up with my friends again, and had a few cups of chai tea. I talked more with the 21 year old guy that lives in the house where we got the tea (just outside the ashram). I like talking to the locals more than the people from the ashram. He told me about how he is about to finish college and then start an internship in chemical engineering. I asked him a lot of questions and he asked me a lot of questions. Nice kid. His English is really good since he gets to practice with all the English speaking foreigners that come to the ashram (which is almost all of them). Then another friend Kevin (who is way into Hinduism) invited me to observe his nightly ritual (there is name for it, but can’t remember what it is now) where he lights a fire and sings to the pictures of his gurus/gods. He has his own little shrine. It was very relaxing to watch. He made some tea for me and we talked a little about his devotion. He likes to talk about it. He especially like to try to shock you with some of his stories. His favorite thing to do is to start telling you something and then stop and say he can’t tell you because it is just indescribable just so that you’ll beg him to try to explain it. Then he will inevitably give in and try to explain some really weird experience he’s had. He nice, and I appreciate the invite, but sometimes he’s just a little too out there for me.

So back to this ayurvedic medicine that is so hard to come by. So, this dude wraps up the bottle in newspaper, takes my money, gives me my change and the medicine. He helps me order food at the restaurant, and while he’s doing this, I open the newpaper (because this is odd -- normally they don’t waste paper and plastic on wrapping if they can help it) and find that the bottle looks used, the label has been taped on, and when I open the cap, I find that there is the seal is broken and punctured. I ask him about this and he tries to explain that he had a big bottle of the medicine and I only needed a little, so he just used this bottle to fill up what I needed. I thought, right now, I know that I don’t have information and/or energy to try to argue with this guy about it. So, when I get back to the ashram the pharmacy guy says it is the right stuff, but that the bottle should be sealed. I ask him if it is safe to take, he says, that’s up to you. Which to me means, NO. So, I’m going back tomorrow and see what I can do. Now that I have this other Indian guys opinion, I have some ammo. They like to treat foreigners as if they don’t know anything, but if I say that this Indian guy said so, then it is hard for them to argue with that. So, this will be interesting.

Post 6

June 16 -- I am waking up later and later every day and I’m feeling more and more tired. Weird. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Anyway, I’m going to have to start setting my alarm. I really want to make it to the Archana in the mornings. Everyone says the energy during this time (right before dawn and the chanting) is very powerful. The last two days I’ve been sleeping through it.

Today I had to say goodbye to Carol and Jose. Two friends I made here at the ashram. They are from Mexico (near Mexico City) with an organic farm. Jose teaches students (in the country and in the city) about organic farming. I’m not sure what Carol does, but I can relate to her a lot because she also has trouble getting pregnant and she loves animals. In fact, she handed over the job of walking the cows out of their stalls every morning to me! Jose reminds me of a painting of Jesus Christ. He has long-ish, dark-ish, curly-ish hair and a matching beard. He is thin and has the kindest eyes and a patient smile to go with them. Carol is so sweet and makes the funniest facial expressions. I love to watch her when she talks! She said her dad named her after Carol Burnette! (sp?) Can you believe that?? Apparently, her dad was in love with Carol Burnette. I took of picture of them on their way out of the ashram. They are going to do some more traveling before they go back home. This is their honeymoon. They have been married only a month or two. They have known each other for 15 years! They’ve been friends, but had other relationships and have finally come together. It is really beautiful. I gave them my e-mail address and told them to keep in touch.

Tomorrow, I go to see the ayurvedic doctor. Hopefully she’ll be able to see me then. Otherwise, I go back on Wednesday. I’m a little worried because this morning I tried taking my ayurvedic medicine and I threw it up. I tend to get myself all worked up over something (like shots or yucky foods/medicines) that I end up not being able to handle it. I knew this about myself going into this treatment, but I thought “Well, I have learned to handle my fear of shots, now I can work on my fear of swallowing yucky stuff.” So, I prepared myself by thinking, “This is good for you. You need this. It smells good (which is not a lie -- it smells like spices I’d put on meat). You can do this. Control yourself. Take it a little at a time. If you can handle it, drink it all in one gulp.” I really believed I could do it, too. I started to gag, and then I put it down, walked away and told myself to get control!!! Then I came back to try again and that is when it all came up. So, I’ll talk to her tomorrow about how to handle this. I think I could take it in smaller doses. Right now it is 4 tbsp of water with 2 tbsps of this greenish stuff, and then 1 tsp of this spicy powdery stuff all mixed together. Carol says that sometimes you can get this stuff in pill form. I’ll ask about that too, but I really don’t want to have to pay for more meds. I’d really just like to learn to take the damn stuff.

Everyone (including Jesus) is happy for me and my decision to shave my head and really dive into this treatment. I have the best supportive husband, family, and friends in the world! Thank you all for supporting me.

I developed this really small rash in Mexico (back in April when we went) that appeared on the back of my left hand in the area between my thumb and index finger. It disappeared almost as quickly as it appeared and it only itched a little while it was there. Now it is back and it is also showing up on my right hand in the same place. I have no idea what it is. Some people suggested it might be a reaction to the sun. I also had gotten a lot of sun in Mexico by the time it showed up. It could also be heat induced, I suppose. Strange.

This afternoon for lunch we actually had some GOOD Indian food here in the ashram. It was so delicious. I’m not sure what the difference was in the vegetable sauce, but I know the bread-like substance that was served with it was a huge help. It was almost like a flatten football shape of white moist bread or rice??? I don’t know, but it was perfect with the sauce. I didn’t even get any rice today. It was great. I hope we have leftovers for dinner.

After we finished this delicious lunch, Xavier (Chavi is the nickname in Catalan), brought us some leftover Spanish Tortilla (which is eggs, potatoes, and onions) that was so scrumptious. I guess it's round flat shape reminded Pizza, the eagle, of pizza, the food because she tried to snatch it out of my hand. Her talons actually scraped my finger! It scared me pretty bad at first, but then I just thought it was really cool.

******************** a few hours later*****************

Actually, I think I might skip dinner. I had an ice cream cone (don’t go freaking out -- the food here at the ashram, including the designated drinking water areas, are perfectly fine. No one gets sick here) and then I had some Chai tea (again -- I drink at least three cups of this a day) so now I’m feeling full. Plus, according to the Panchakarma pamphlet I was given, it is not good to eat after 6:00 pm. So, I don’t know why the ashram serves dinner at 8:00 pm. Anyway, I’m in my room now, I’m feeling full, and I want to get up earlier than usual tomorrow so it is a good reason to skip dinner and get to bed early.

I met and talked with this cute couple (I think they are a couple -- they just met like 1 or 2 weeks ago in India) today. They have kind of taken the place of Carol and Jose me. Marta is from Spain (Barcelona) and Anand is from Northern India (but I don’t remember which part). They are very nice and interesting as well.

The only problem is that I feel I am spending more time chatting with friends than working on my meditation and spirituality. So, since tomorrow marks 1 week at the ashram for me (I can’t believe it is already one week -- it went so fast -- even though it was feeling so slow) I’ve decided to start pulling away a little from them. Also tomorrow will probably be when I start the Panchakarma, so it will be a good time to start focusing on my health (physical and spiritual).

Some people go into “silence” while they are here. They will spend a certain number of days (I don’t know how this number is determined) without talking, reading, writing, touching, even without looking at others (if they can avoid it). I think the whole point is to be with yourself -- your own mind -- and get to know it well. In the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, the book that inspired this trip, she talks about realizing that her mind is like a harbour and her thoughts like ships. She decided to begin questioning each ship before allowing it to come into her harbour. If the ship was full of poisonous cargo or carried any kind of sickness, she did not allow it in. In other words, she became very aware of her thoughts and started being able to control them. In the Asian cultures they always seem to use the analogy of a Monkey Mind -- hopping around out of control. I prefer to think of the mind as a home and as the thoughts like a puppy. Only because I am now such a dog lover and this analogy makes a lot of sense to me. Basically, you can allow a puppy to run free, without a home or owner’s to protect it, and it could even be happy that way. But, it is sure to contract worms, eat garbage, catch fleas, and get very messy and stinky. On the other hand, a puppy that has a home and caring owner’s can be trained to come in when it is called, can get vet care to prevent all the diseases and parasites, have guaranteed meals, get plenty of love, etc. In other words, we need to train our thoughts to come when called, so that they don’t end up smelling like garbage.

All of this has got me thinking that I might give this silence thing a try. I mean, where else am I going to be able to do this for an extended period of time? It is very tempting for me to get all caught up in Nicole’s exciting and adventurous spirit, but I need to remind myself that right now, at this moment, my purpose in being is for personal growth, not necessarily for adventure (though I believe a little adventure comes with the territory and I welcome it).

Do you guys realize that I am averaging about two and half pages worth of text each day? I really hope I’m not boring the pants off you guys. And don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about posting pictures. I’ll keep trying.

Love you all and miss you!!!!!!

Post 5

June 15 -- Well there IS a concept of weekends here, but it seems only the bank observes it in the ashram.

Let’s see, where do I start? I have so much to tell. I had another great day! I bought about $40 worth of ayurvedic medicines. It is all natural so I don’t have to worry too much. I did tell her I was already taking medication, so she said we would watch my reaction to this ayurvedic medication and if I have any side effects we’d lower the dosage until I felt okay with it.

Nicole and I went to the beach today just to hang out. She bought a papaya fruit and we ate it on the beach, watched the waves, and read our books. The coolest part was that this young Indian college student who was dying to talk to us and teach us a little Malayalam (the language spoken here) talked to us for almost an hour and answered a ton of questions we had. So we learned some really useful things. Most important is that I learned that the website I found that had Malayalam phrases was incorrect. What they said was “goodbye” is actually “yesterday”. So I was saying “yesterday” to people. :) Namaskaram is used as a greeting, Veratte is used as a way of saying goodbye, Nanni means thank you. There were others, Nicole has the paper they were written on. She is going to make a copy for me to keep. It is so cool. Whenever we use these words, the people get such a kick out of it. They really love it. We chatted with the guy for a while and learned that he is 18 years old and already one year or two years into his bacholor’s. He told us he was in town for his aunt’s wedding and that it was an arranged marriage. He said that the custom is that the parents choose the guy, but the girl can say no. However, she cannot choose herself without her parents’ blessing. No one would marry them without the parents’ blessing. He said that here there is a phrase they live by (it is written on that paper, so I don’t have the words in front of me) that loosely translates into= parents, teachers, God. He said it means that parents and teachers are equal to God and should be revered and respected like a God. I said, Maybe I should move here and teach English!

Nicole and I went to the Ecology Shop here and I bought some beautiful smelling, organic, homemade bug repellent. So far, I think it is working. It stung like HELL on my neck because I didn’t realize that it got sunburned today at the beach. It’s not a bad sunburn, but enough to be sensitive to that oil.

We went back to the beach this evening. Deklin (sp?), the blind guy who plays the flute, drums, and sings for us, came with us. It was absolutely gorgeous! The sun was setting, the waves were crashing, the wind was blowing, and he was playing his flute. I thought to myself -- I’M IN INDIA!!!!! Then a young girl and her younger sister came along and started talking to me. We sang “twinkle, twinkle, little star” and she knew “One, two, buckle my shoe”. She taught us how to say beautiful in Malayalam. Again -- it is on that piece of paper and I don’t have it with me.

Most importantly, though, is that I’ve been talking to people about shaving my head. They’ve all said the same thing that I was saying in my last post -- my hair is already so short that it wouldn’t be that much different, and that it is very cleansing. I talked to a lady who has shaved her head for the treatment and she said it is so worth it. So, I’ve made my decision and I’m going to shave my head!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! :O

I want someone to video tape the process or take a picture of it happening, but I don’t know if they’ll let me, since I’m inside the ashram. The treatment is call Panchakarma, if you want to look it up on the internet. Pancha means 5 and Karma means action. So, if you read up on it, you’ll learn about the 5 different actions or treatments that are included. I don’t know too much about it myself. Luckily she said I don’t have to do the one that includes vomitting. There are some crazy restrictions with this treatment. I have to cover my head, avoid wind, fans, and mental activities like reading/writing (I don’t know if I can do that one). They also want me to avoid the beach, stay on the ashram premises, don’t go out in the sun, and don’t drink cold drinks. During some of the treatments they don’t even want me to shower! I want to take this whole thing seriously so that I get the maximum benefit, but at the same time, how can I stay away from the beach??? Honestly, that and the diet, will be the hardest things for me. Since this whole process is meant to purify and cleanse the body of toxins, they want a light, easy to digest diet. Of course all the foods on the “Foods to Completely Avoid” list are all the ones I LOVE to eat -- sugar, fried foods, tea, peanuts, potatoes, etc. Good news is that during this treatment, I’m not allowed to do seva. In other words, I get to be lazy.

Here at the ashram there are a lot of people who will say, when there is a coincidence, that Amma made it happen. For example, we were stuffing envelopes the other day (part of my seva) and two times in a row, we had the exact amount of books for the exact amount of envelopes. They said -- it was Amma. There are many other examples like this. Of course, I rolled me eyes at it and thought these people are really taking this too far. But.... (you knew that was coming, didn’t you?)... I have seen a lot of this happen since I’ve been here and it recently happended to me. I’ll explain, but first let me say that I totally realize that this is probably all just a matter of me paying more attention to coincidences and not that they are actually happening more often. Still, it is pretty neat that I looked in my spreadsheet that I use to keep track of my grant money. Jesus and I had used some of the money for personal reasons, knowing we’d have the money to replace it when I needed it. So, I was looking at it last night, because I worried about the expense of this Panchakarma treatment. It turns out that the exact amount that is owed back to my grant fund (minus what is set aside for taxes) is the exact amount that this doctor is charging. Most of you would say it was God’s work. I really think that is what they mean when they say it is Amma. I don’t know what it is, all I know is that it makes it all feel meant-to-be.

I’ve had some really interesting conversations about religion, philosophy, etc. with some of the people here. It turns out there is a really good reason why Hinduism reminds me of Catholisism. Many of the Caltholic rituals were adapted from the Hindus. For example the prayer beads and the Holy Trinity. I’m horrible at remembering these kinds of little facts, but I know there are three main Gods in the Hindu religion and these three correlate very closely, if not exactly, with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Also they do this thing where they touch the floor, then touch their heads, and then their chests. This reminds me of the Catholics making the sign of the cross. Also, they have holy water and they have the mark they put on their heads (between the eyebrows) which is very similar to the cross that is placed on the Catholics foreheads on Ash Wednesday. Anyway, it’s interesting I think. I love that there are so many people here who have the same idea that I do -- which is that there are many paths (religions) to God and not one way is better or more correct than the other. The Hindi and the Buddhists believe that you don’t have to give up your way of worshipping God to join in on their ways of worshipping. In fact, the Dali Lama encourages you NOT to give up your way of worshipping, but to simply take what is useful to you from Buddhism and add it to your way. These religions are some, if not THE, oldest religions exsisting today. I’m not sure where we went wrong with all the newer ones. This inclusiveness, this way of accepting all ideas, THIS is what I think it is all about.

I haven’t told you all about the Eagle, have I? I call him/her Pizza, because that is her favorite food. She hangs around the dining hall (usually around lunchtime) and dive bombs your food if it is some type of bread -- and ESPECIALLY if it is pizza. She is beautiful. She is small for an Eagle and I don’t think she is considered a bald eagle, but she does have a white head and chest. The other day Nicole and Carol ordered and shared a pizza and I’m telling you, they could barely sit down with it before Pizza came swooping down, trying to steal it. They ended up having to eat it under the table!

So, I could go on and on about a bunch of other tiny little things that don’t really matter -- like my dirty nails, and hairy legs, but I think I’ve written enough for now.

Love you all and miss you!!

Post 4

June 14th -- Wow, I just realized today is Saturday! There is no concept (that I can tell) of weekends here. So, it is weird to think it is the weekend. Anyway, I’ve had another great day. First, I got to wear my cool new punjabi shirt -- it is dark purple with red, yellow, orange, blue, and pink embroidery. In other words, it is colorful and beautiful. An indian woman stopped me today and complimented me on it. Then, I walked around and took pictures outside of the ashram of people and the beach. I can’t wait to post the pics for you guys. I tried to do it today when I was able to go to the internet cafe, but it wouldn’t accept it for some reason. I’ll have to play around and see what is going on. It might be something to do with using a mac and then trying to post on a different system. I don’t know. Next, of course, I was able to get on the internet!!! Then, Nicole and I walked over the bridge to a the nearby town so she could use the ATM and it had air-conditioning. I have never felt so relieved in my life. Then we saw these really cool fruits, “Jack Fruit” I think they are called, and it was delicious and SUPER sticky. I never would have tried it if it wasn’t for Nicole. It’s funny... she says that we meet people in our lives at certain times because they are meant to help us with something. It is certainly true in this situation. She has really helped me to realize a lot of things about myself and inspired me to become braver about things. Poor Jesus has been trying to get me to realize these things and be braver for a LONG time, but it is different when it is a female. I can identify with her, you know? She really has become a great friend to me in such a short time. She just stopped by to make sure I was okay because she saw me come out of the Ayurvedic Doctor’s office (which is what we did after the Jack Fruit). I had been crying when I was talking to the doctor. So, Nicole wanted to make sure I had someone to talk to if I needed it. We traded e-mail addresses and I gave her my blog web address. I really hope to keep in touch with her after she leaves. Good news is she has decided to stay longer to get a full week of Ayurvedic treatment. :)

So, the Ayurvedic Doctor is a female too, which is awesome. It makes it so much easier to talk to her about things. She has a very calming energy and immediately I felt this sense of “now I can finally let it all out” and so I rattled of my list of issues and then the tears came. She was so sweet. She held my hand, cupped my face, assured me everything would be okay, and told me to put all my worries at Amma’s feet. Which, of course, I take to mean -- let go of your worries. So, she wants to see me one more time I think before she starts treatment. Of course, her treatments are radical by our standards. But, there is a lot of research out there showing more and more the effectiveness of eastern medicine. I personally think the two combined make the best combination. The way I see it is I’ve tried the western way, now let me try the eastern way. I’ll take the best of both. The crazy part is that she wants me to shave my head! Now, I’ve always joked about shaving my head, but I don’t know if I could actually do it. I mean, I wouldn’t really care so much about having a shaved head (it’s not too far off from what I have now) but it’s all the stares I’d get and what people would say about me. She explained that there is a treatment that she does that includes oils on the scalp and other stuff that is supposed to stick to the scalp and that the hair keeps it from sticking, so I’d need to shave it. She did say that we don’t have to do that treatment. However... I can’t help but think symbolically. It would be like a new beginning for me. A new, fresh start -- not just for my hair, but for me and my state of mind, and my caring what people will think of me. I keep thinking about this episode of the Amazing Race where this woman has these beautiful long dreadlocks that she has been growing for years, but to get ahead in the race she has to shave her head. She does it and she looks beautiful and feels freer. I think they actually won the whole race too... I’m not sure. Now, I’m not delusional enough to think that I will look beautiful with a shaved head -- I just don’t have the features for that. Plus my skin is so bad it will just draw more attention to itself without hair to distract the eye. But I don’t know -- I think I might do it, as a kind of purifying act. I’m typing this on my laptop without internet connection, so I can’t look it up... but I think the quote on my blog says something about choosing the bolder path -- shaving my head SURE would be bold! I go back to her on Tuesday or Wednesday. She’ll want to know my answer by then. I’ve got some thinking to do.

Love you all and miss you!!!

Post 3

June 13th -- I am exhausted! Today was a crazy full day, but it was so much fun. After breakfast and seva, Nicole asked me if I wanted to take a rickshaw with her to Kollam (which is about an hour away -- I thought the ashram was located in Kollam, but I guess not). Anyway, I agreed and we had a great time. I fell in love with all the fabrics and punjabi outfits I saw. I got a little carried away and picked out more things than I had money for -- so I thought, well that’s okay -- I’ll just use my Visa Debit Card and let Jesus know how much would be coming out of our account. Only one problem. I forgot to bring my Visa Debit Card!! Of course only I would do something so stupid. So the guy is determined to make this sale, so he takes us to the bank so I can exchange some traveler’s checks that I brought with me. Which is great, but the problem is I still don’t have enough to buy everything I had picked out. So, I decide that I’ll take some of it now and come back some other day to get the rest. The guy was super-duper sweet and helpful and understanding. He spent a lot of time on me and didn’t make the sale he was hoping for. So, I gave him a pretty nice tip. The funniest part was when we tried to fit 4 people (+1 driver) in a tiny rickshaw. Nicole had to sit on my lap. She was very patient with me as I decided what I wanted to buy (which is not easy to do when there are SOOOOOOOOO many beautiful fabrics) and when we had to make a special trip to the bank.

She’s now trying to convince me to take a 4 hour bus ride to Cochin with her before she has to leave at the end of the week. It sounds like it would be a lot of fun -- except for the bus ride, which would equal 8 hours total on a hot crowded bus with stinky, sweaty people (us included). I told her I’d have to think about that one.

I had some delicious food today. I cheated and bought food from the Western Cafe (as it is called). For breakfast I had an omelet sandwich (which really isn’t an omelet at all) and for dinner a soy burger and fries!!! YUMMY! I shared my french fries with Nicole and she shared her chocolate cupcake with me. :)

I didn’t take a nap today. Which means I am exhausted right now, so I’m going to bed.

I noticed that the internet cafe is back and running. The problem is that it was closed when I was able to use it. So, tomorrow I think I’ll be able to actually log and post all this stuff I’ve been writing.

Love you all and miss you!!!

Post 2

June 12 -- I think, I don’t know anymore. I’m so discombobulated. I don’t even know the correct time back home anymore. I keep forgetting if it is 9.5 hours ahead or behind. I just tried calling Jesus (thinking he was home from work) and now that I’m on my laptop, I can see that he’s just getting ready to have lunch!! I’ll figure it out after awhile. I’m a slow learner.

I’m still have jet lag. Since this is only my second day, it makes sense. I made two dumb choices today. #1 -- I chose to walk with a friend to the nearby town in the middle of the day when it is sweltering hot!! #2 -- I chose to take a cold shower and nap after bad choice #1. So, now it is like 10:30 or 11:00p.m. and I’m wide awake. That is not helping me adjust to the time change. However, I heard from others that it takes at least 4 days to adjust and that they couldn’t help but take naps too.

One of the places we went to (before heading the nearby town) was the beach, which is very, very close to the ashram. On the beach there is an internet cafe. I stopped by, but she said their internet was out too. She said that someone was coming today to fix it. So, hopefully tomorrow (June 13, I think) I can go there and finally connect to the real world.

It is getting a little easier for me, but I feel very lonely when I am in my room alone. I think to myself, what am I doing here? But, I know what I’m doing here -- and it is exactly that feeling (and that idea) that I am here to work on. I need to be able to be alone with myself and depend on myself. I realize how much I depend on Jesus for my happiness. I feel like I’m missing this huge part of myself without him here. And even though that sounds extremely sweet and romantic, it is not healthy.

So, I’ve made a good friend here. Her name is Nicole and she is from Germany. She and I spend almost all of our time together. She is really a nice person. She gave me three green sparkly bangles just because I mentioned that I liked them. I also enjoy hanging out with her, because she did not come here for Amma either. We both have similar ideas about religion. So I feel feel more “comfy” with her. (She uses this word a lot.) For example, today I also met a lady from Poland named Vasurda (spelling? pronounced like the Spanish word -- basurda -- that’s how she told me to remember it.) Anyway, she is so kind and helpful. But, she has been here for two and a half years, explaining that the outside world is too harsh and she is a sensitive person. She worships Amma. I just don’t agree with this. #1 -- the whole idea, I thought, was to come here for guidance/practice/whatever so that you can better cope with the harsh real world, not to hide away from it. #2 -- no matter how amazing a person Amma is (and I believe is really is an extraordinary person) she is still human and therefore not to be worshipped or revered more than any other human being.

She is much braver than I am. She was bored at work one day, and started searching cheap airline tickets. She found a cheap one to Trivandrum and she bought it with no real knowledge of the place or anything. She stayed in a hotel in Trivandrum for about a week by herself, slowly getting to know the city before she came here. She suggests that spend some time in Trivandrum before I head home. I think I might do that. It is going to be difficult for me to do much shopping if I don’t. So, I might leave here a week or so early and stay in a hotel... we’ll see.

Well, I planned on trying to cut sugar out of my diet while I was here, but I don’t think that is going to happen. It’s just not realistic right now. I figure one thing at a time. First let me get a healthy meditation/yoga routine and then I’ll focus on my diet.

It is funny to me how much the rituals of the Hindu remind me of the rituals of the Catholic church. I can’t really explain it, but that was my impression today.

My seva today was chopping vegetables. I enjoyed doing this because I was able to meet and chat with some interesting people. There is a guy and his wife who are here who are from Mexico. They are real hippies, but very nice people. Then I met a girl from Kentucky. She is a Personal Trainer/ Yoga instructor/ and Thai masseuse. I pretty sure those vegetables were the ones they used to cook our dinner tonight. I’m starting to get tired of the food (and I know it is only the second day!!). It is always rice with some type of vegetable sauce. I could really use some meat, but I think most of this region is vegetarian. :(

I did have some coconut milk today. Nicole showed me where they sell them. There is a little house right outside of the ashram where they will cut just the top open for you. You drink the juice out and then they cut it in half and you scoop out all the meat and it eat it. They cut the outside of the coconut in such a way that it makes a scooper for you. It is pretty cool. The only problem is that I didn’t like the coconut milk. I think I remember my dad drinking the coconut milk and giving use the meat of it when we were kids, but I remember the milk being white. This was clear. The meat was VERY soft too -- gooey almost. I’m wondering if maybe they hadn’t ripened all the way. Ooh, that is outside the ashram, so I can take pictures of it!! I didn’t realize that we would be out and about today (so I don’t have pictures) but not to worry, I will get some for you.

In fact, today I broke the rules (don’t tell my students) and took pictures inside my room. Hopefully I’ll be able to post them for you.

Sorry that I’m writing so much! I just have so much time to think and I feel the need to get it out. I won’t be offended if you get tired and stop reading.

I love you all and miss you!!

Post 1

I made it safe and sound to the Ashram. I am typing this up on my laptop and will post it later on my blog, because we currently don’t have any internet. Right now it is about 8:30 a.m. your time and about 6 p.m. my time. I just got my room all set up. Right now, I’m not sharing with anybody, but at any time, they could assign someone to be my roommate. I don’t know where they’ll fit, but I guess we’ll figure that out when the time comes.

Well, where do I start? I have so many stories to tell you. I’m going to make titles for each of the topics, so I don’t forget and I’ll fill them as I have time.

Crying

I really thought I would be able to say goodbye to Jesus without crying. I don’t know who I was trying to fool. I was flooded with SO MANY emotions at once, all I could was cry. Of course I felt nervous and a little scared. Of course I felt sad at having to leave Jesus for 6 weeks. But what really did me in was the overwhelming gratitude I felt at having the most understanding and selfless husband in the world. Not once did express jealousy over the fact that I was traveling without him. (It is a dream of ours to do a lot of traveling together.) Not once did show an ounce of resentment. His only focus was making sure I was prepared for this trip so I could enjoy it.

Food

I hate to admit it, but I think I was seduced by the airline food!! It was shockingly good and there was so MUCH! It seemed like every time I turned around they were feeding us. Every meal came with a main course, at least two-three sides, a bread roll, dessert, water, and then your choice of coffee or tea. Now, mind you that most this food was not pre-packaged like we are used to. Most of this food was served in actual dishes (plastic). Also, they came around with actual tea pots and coffee pots and poured your choice of drink for you. I really enjoyed the meals.

The People

Indians, from what I can tell, are not a patient people. I used to think that I was an impatient person, but compared to these people, I could be a model of patience. They don’t seem to have any special rules or courtesies for women, children, and the elderly. And they have no sense of what a line is or how it works. Most of them I have found are very friendly and helpful. Well, that is except for the younger women, who will stare and giggle at me. I really think that they think I am a Lesbian, what with my super short hair, pants, and non-dainty ways. At first, I thought I was imagining things (and that is still a possibility) but it seems a bit coincidental that all the young girls stare a little too long and start whispering to their friends. However, I remember being that age. All my friends and I did was make fun of people who didn’t look like, talk like, and behave just like us.

The Driving (a.k.a. The Suicide Attempting)

I tried to remain as calm as possible during the 3 hour taxi ride, which is hard to do. I’m not sure why they have lines dividing the roads into lanes -- they don’t pay attention to them. So far, this is my understanding of Indian driving: Pass up as many vehicles on the road as possible, as fast as you can. Feel free to pass on a curve. Honk to let the driver in front of you know that they are going too slow, that you are passing them, or just for the fun of it. Flash your headlights to let the on coming car know that if one of you doesn’t get out of the way fast, there will be a head-on collision. Then, get back into your lane at the last possible second, just to show you’re not chicken.

The Sights

India reminds me a lot of Mexico. As far as the poverty, living conditions, and what-not. The backwaters and ocean views are gorgeous. The crappy thing is that we are not allowed to take photos inside the ashram -- not even of the beautiful views!! (That is a very dumb rule in my humble opinion. I might have to break it on the last day I’m here.) There are coconut trees and banana plants everywhere you look. The waves crashing on the shore are pretty big and pretty dangerous I hear.

The Ashram

Interesting. That is the best I can explain it for now. I’m still learning all the rules and routines. Everyone is helpful and patient with me as I ask and re-ask questions. At first I thought I had no electricity in my room. I tracked down the electrical guys and they sent someone right away. Turns out there is a switch (outside of my room) that has to be turned on before the electricity will work. I don’t understand the purpose of this switch and I don’t like the idea of someone being able to turn off my power. There are people here from many different places. The ones I’m pretty sure of are Spain, France, and Poland. But, I’m sure there are many more. I’ve purchased my first ashram approved outfit. I figured I’m getting enough stares with the hair, I’ll at least make sure my clothes fit in. It is also recommended that you do this so as not to offend the very traditional community around the ashram (which come and visit throughout the day). Today and probably tomorrow, and plan to stay to myself and observe a lot. I don’t feel like participating in any of the activities yet and I have not visited the seva office. Turns out at this ashram, seva is an option. They ask that you volunteer 2 hours a day to some task. I saw a sign that said they were looking for English teachers at one of the grade schools that Amma has set up. I thought that sounded like fun. It might mean that I’ll get to leave the ashram on a regular basis, which I think I’m going to need to do to get through this 6 weeks. It’s funny. I’ve been thinking how the 6 weeks was going to fly by. But now that I’m here, and I feel each minute passing slowly by, I’m thinking... “Wow, SIX WEEKS at an ashram! What were you thinking?”

XOXOXOXOXOXO to all! Love you and miss you.

Take Off

Well, in about 8 hours anyway. We leave for Chicago in 2. We're having lunch with Neil (Jesus' writer friend) and then off to O'Hare. I'm not sure when I'll be able to post again, due to wifi access or lack of.

I'm packed. I'll be lucky if they let me carry everything on board. I'm prepared though, if they make me check my bag. All my essentials will come on board with me.

Jesus has remained calm and a voice of reason for me, as I try to pack everything and anything. I, on the other hand, am doing good to keep from breaking down into a nervous wreck.

Breathe, Gloria, breathe.

1

My family from Texas called one-right-after-the-other this evening to wish me well on my trip. It was very coincidental. It's like they were all thinking about me at the same time. Just as I was finishing up one conversation, the next one would beep in.

My dad... always my dad. He can't help himself, I guess. He wants his little girl to be safe, but he goes about it in the wrong way. After giving me some helpful reminders and wishing me a safe trip, he said, "Don't trust anyone! Don't even blink your eyes! You never know what people might do when they're poor and hungry. They might say, 'Hmmmm, look at her, she looks tasty, then chop you up and eat you." I could hear my mom in the background telling him something which I'm sure meant, STOP IT! You're not supposed to scare her!

Now, before you go freaking out and thinking that my dad is a little psychotic, let me explain. My dad likes to speak in analogies. For example, there is this oldies song called "Little Red Riding Hood" which, of course, is about a Big Bad Wolf who wants to get Little RRH. He would always remind me that there are lots of Big Bad Wolves out there and so I had to be on the look out. It was basically the same message. He doesn't really think there are cannibals in India. (Well, at least I hope he doesn't.)

Hmmm, you think I might be a little anxious (and therefore need this trip) because I was constantly reminded "Don't trust anyone"? ;-) I just have to smile. I love him, even though he's a bit of a freak.

I was VERY excited to hear my nephew (in Texas) say, "I love you Aunt Go-Go!" and "Have a nice trip!" Which really sounded like "I luv u gyo-gyo" and "trip"... but it still counts. It means a lot to me because I NEVER get to see him. Then my brother told me that he'll cry and beg for Aunt Go-Go. I guess the videos on our web gallery that I made for him were a big hit (well that is all but the one with the bug masks -- that just freaked him out). Apparently, he'll beg to see Aunt Go-Go again and again. I feel so special!!! Isn't it amazing that the adoration of a small child can make you feel so important?

Speaking of the web gallery, I will probably post all my pictures there as a storage place while I"m in India. I'll probably only post a few of them to my blog. If you're interested, feel free to browse. Right now there are a lot of photos from Mexico (and those goofy videos).

http://gallery.mac.com/losmoya1999

2

The Bon Voyage Dinner at the Taj was very nice. I love it when family, friends, and good food all come together. It is a beautiful thing. I really appreciate everyone who was able to make time to come out tonight. Those who weren't able, I understand. But, you'll have to check out the food there if you haven't already. It's great. I have a picture of the dinner, and I'm trying to figure out how to post it on the blog. I want it embedded in the text. Normally I just highlight a pic from Google Images and then copy and paste. But this is my own image, and so I'm not sure how to do it. I'll figure something out.

I already have an adapter just for my laptop, but I need one for my phone and camera too. So, today I bought another adapter. But get this... apparently you need an adapter for this adapter! Have you ever heard of anything so redundant? I was not a happy camper. But, also I think I just didn't like the salesman who was pushing it on me. I think I probably allowed myself to be bullied into buying it. I just want to have what I need so I don't have to spend my precious India time running around looking for stuff. You know?

And just for fun, Jesus and I each bought a nano ipod. We've each bought cheaper no name brands of mp3 players before, but they've never lasted. And since we've become such big Mac fans, we thought -- why not?

Some people have asked me, "How is Jesus doing? Is he O.K. with you going to India for 6 weeks?" To answer that question, I won't be gone 24 hours before he's out with the guys for drinks. I think he'll be just fine. :)

I just received a confirmation on my taxi pick-up and I checked my flights last night and so far everything is still good to go. So, tomorrow is the last day for packing and goodbyes. Then, I'm off.....